Adult Jokes

 

 

Kutte ke bacche ne uski ma se pucha,
“Maa mere pitaji kaise the?”
Maa boli, “Pata nahi beta, Piche se aaye the, aur piche se hi chale gaye!”


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Train mein  aik husband apni wife say:
tujh say shadi ker k pachta raha hun
dil kerta hai tujhey kuttay k agay dal dun
samnay wala passenger:wao wao wao wao!!!


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Sardarni: kal raat 3 chor aaye aur mera rape karke chale
gaye.

Sardar: tumne unhe roka nahi?

Sardarni: bahot roka par bole ab aur taakat
nahi hai, kal aayenge


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teri sula ke lu?
ya bitha ke lu?
ya tujhe karu khada
ya fir teri juka-jukake lu?
ab tu hi bata
ki mein teri…
photo kaise lu


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us ne kaha or dabao,
main dabaya,
us ne kaha or dabao,
main ne or dabaya,
us ne kaha baniyan nikal do phir dabao,
main ne phir dabaya,
us ne kaha pent bhi nikal do phir dabao,
main ne phir dabaya . . .
dekha ho gya na suit case band


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3 FEELINGS
what is the diference b/w stress,tension & panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant,
tension is when girlfriend is pregnant &
panic is when both r pregnant


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2 men went 2 a callgirl.
1st went in and came out n said
“Na my wife is better.”
2nd went in and came out n said
“U R right ur wife is much better.”


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Sardar sent SMS to his BOSS:
“Me sick, no work”
Boss SMS back:
“When I am sick I kiss my wife try it”
2 hours later sardar sms 2 boss:
“Me ok, ur wife very sweet”


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Beti: Maa Gaon mein Fauji aaye hain

Maa: andar aaja inki niyat bahut kharab hoti hai

Beti: Maa fauji Pakistani hain

Maa: to bakri ko bhi andar le aa.

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Ek raat bahuu ne kisi gair merd ke saath guzari,
Magar saas ne kuch na kaha,
Bhala kiun,
Kyon ke saas bhi kabi Bahu thi

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Jab gabbar paida hua tab uski maa ne use 2 thappad lagaye,
es par father bole kya hua?,
kambakht paida hote hi pooch raha tha kitne admi the.

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Peter -: Boss! Aaap ko kaun si 3 cheeze sabse jahyahda pasand hai?
Ajeet -: Ek Mona,
Doosra Sona,
aur Tisra,
Mona ke saath Sona.

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To avoid condom related accident use 2 condoms with chilli powder in between them if outer breaks she will know and if inner one breaks you will know!

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First Doc: I had sex with my patient. I’m feeling guilty
Second Doc: It happens in our profession. Take it easy yaar.
First Doc: Yeah, but I’m a Veterinary doctor.

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Kamra khushboo naal sajai baithe han,
bed te navi chaddar bichayee baithe han,
Saadi deewangi tan dekho ohna ne raati auna hai
te asi duphar de hi condom charai baithe han

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Man: Sex ho jaye?
Wife: No.
Man: Jewellary le dunga.
Wife: No.
Man: Car le dunga.
Wife: No, No, No.
Beta so raha tha, bich me bola, Meri marlo, Cycle la dena.

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Wife bought a new transparent Bra, wore in front of her hubby.
Hubby: Issme tum bahut sexy lag rahi ho.
Wife: Pata hai ! Salesman bhi yehi keh raha tha.

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Wife: Muje lagta hai apka Rita k saath najayaz rishta hai.
Hubby: Ye tum kaise keh sakti ho?
Wife: Kal jab uske husband aye, to apki underwerr pehne huye the.

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I pray to God that any person who tries to fuck ur happiness, may his ass begin to itch & his hand grow shorter that he can’t reach his ass to scratch.

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A person was carrying 3 BABIES in the train.
The Lady next to him asked,”Are they your BABIES.”
The Person said ,”NO, I own a condom factory & these are
customers complaints”

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A Rocket & a Plane meet after ages.
Plane says:” yaar rocket tu itni tez raftaar se kaise udh jate
ho?”
Rocket replies “yeh toh wohi jaane jis ke peeche AAG lagi
ho….”

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